We laughed, we cried, and we learned at the MLC viewing on April 25 of “The Boy Inside,” a moving documentary about Adam, a young boy struggling with Asperger’s Syndrome. Between scenes, Dr. Neal Sarahan, Challenger Program Director, moderated a panel which included Jacob and Matt, two Monarch students who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s. Through humor and insight, Dr. Neal and the two gentlemen shared their own joys and struggles as compared with Adam’s in the documentary. The following is a letter from Adam’s mother updating us on Adam’s progress:

Hi John and parents,

You'll be happy to hear that Adam is doing a lot better since he started high school. It seems to me high school can either be hell or a bit of a reprieve for our kids, and in our case it’s been an improvement over elementary school. There were some social and boundary issues in the first year, some to do with inappropriate interaction with girls which the school did not handle particularly well. All the kids hug each other and Adam got in on the act too, but he hugged too much and held his hug for too long. This became a major kerfuffel after 2 other girls reported this, and the school completely over-reacted in my and all our expert consultant's opinions.

But this year he seems to have figured out the written and unwritten social rules and has learned to fit in more and even has a small group of buddies. They are all in his computer immersion program which is how they met. They seem to laugh a lot, sharing a quirky sense of humor. Last weekend, Adam actually organized a trip to the local paintball facility for all three boys. Of course they all showed up at our house on time, expecting a ride there and back, and had I even been consulted on my availability? NO! But of course I was happy to shlep them, it being such a rare event that Adam has kids over, never mind actually organizing and following through on something. It was an achievement for him.

In general the school has not been that knowledgeable and more significantly, not that open to learn from us and our behavioral consultant which is a shame, since they are getting at least 4 more kids with AS next year. As his computer program ends this year, Adam will be going to a new school for grade 10. It has a new autism resource centre program which seems like the best possible fit in terms of what the public schools have to offer. We, at least I am feeling positive. Adam as usual is mixed about being identified as having AS.

At home he is also doing better, more mature, more reasonable (to a point) still often verbally rude to me but very apologetic after. He really is growing up and out of some of the AS qualities. He loves going to teen dances and school dances. He asked me to guess how many times he'd been rejected by girls at a school dance and it turns out it was 48. I told him he didn't have to go if that was upsetting to him. He turned to me and said with a big smile: "You know me mom, I NEVER give up". Indeed he doesn't which is just one of the reasons that I think he'd make a good pit-bull lawyer one day. Put it this way, I wouldn't want him on the other team.

The news is good and with time I expect it to be even better. Best of luck with your special kids. Keep calm and don’t forget to laugh.

Marianne Kaplan